Entering into the restaurant, there was this aura of serenity that welcomed us. We were ushered in by the bar man to a hall full of table and chairs. The sky was getting dark. The hall was empty, and chilled, having all It’s AC’s on the max . Apparently we were the only ones there. We selected a warm corner of the hall, a place where the fangs of the boisterous standing air conditioners couldn’t ice us. I felt thrilled..
The waitress walked in. She was a fair short lady with an igbo-tic intonation.
Waitress: Good evening sir!, (holding the a la carte) what may we offer you?.
Nodding at jasmine, I signaled her to make her choice while I picked my phone to reply my WhatsApp messages.
I was deeply engrossed in those few minutes of replying my messages, that I didn’t pay attention to jasmines selections. During those few minutes I knew I was feeling very uncomfortable. My ears were relaying a message to my brain that an impending danger was arising, but due to my engrossment with the messages my cerebrum didn’t grasp the signal. I finally paid attention to my ears, when I did what did I hear?…
” I want jollof, coleslaw, asun meat + chicken grills, and dodo”… when she was done I smiled & asked her is that all? She paused for like 5 seconds, glancing through the list again, she then made a final addition, ” pls add the orange juice to it”. I smiled. She then asked; what about you?,
Me: (collecting the list to make my choice, something struck my eye,….
the PRICES on each item) I began sweating..in a room full of iced air, was I falling sick??,… I was still lost in a galaxy of thoughts on the next move to make…..why you may ask?, after all it has always been ‘money no be problem’….
You see, this was my first time of coming to this restaurant. I neva knew this place was made for the super rich men, politicians, and the infamous G-boys of Benin city.
I immediately developed a retentive memory and recalled all what I heard jasmine pick, so as to see what it totalled ;
Jollof- 1500
Asun meat- 2000
Coles law- 1400
Grilled chicken- 2500
Dodo-1000
Orange juice- 1500
making a total of ;…….. (do the maths and see for yourself), not forgetting I had only 3000 on my debit card.
Still in those few seconds, I put on that serious look of being in a selection mood, still glancing through the a la carte, I questioned my 6th sense, ” what do I do?”
Truth is I could afford all these for jasmine, and many more, but at that moment I couldn’t, because I was in a serious fix. I couldn’t tell jasmine what was going on, NO!. It would change her perspective of me being a ‘great’ guy. Knowing fully well that one doesn’t have a second chance to make a first impression, I played along with the mess I found myself in.
Waitress; sir? Have you made your selection?
Me: Errm, (facing jasmine) I don’t think I like what am seeing here! I would have preferred Irish potatoes(chips) and sausages. (truth was I badly wanted Fried rice, salad with chicken, but knowing the prices, I had to form something I knew I never wanted to eat, and wasn’t On the menu). I’ll just join you with the juice, besides I ate something while I was at Ekhenuwa (2nd lie… but you see, I couldn’t avoid this lies, if not the loses will have been greater than the titanic)
Jasmine: Oh!! Okay dear
Waitress: Ok sir! Your dishes will be ready in the next 20 minutes.
Me: ( looking surprised) why that long?
Jasmine; they have to prepare, micro wave, etc..
Me; ok.
(lost in my thoughts.., ‘so I just have 20 minutes to pull one of the greatest come-backs in history, probably greater than what Barcelona pulled off against PSG in their 6-1 thrashing’..)
I still couldn’t think of what to do. Looking and smiling at jasmine I thought.. ‘should I Run and leave her to make the payments by herself, NO!, that will be very irresponsible of me to do.. Worst comes to worst: We will both wash the dishes and scrub the floor. I concluded.
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